NOT A BIG DEAL

Hello all,

I realize it has been awhile since I have updated you all on the happenings of my life (as if you really care.) But I have big news that will hopefully explain why I haven’t had the chance to write. I will try my best to make it short and sweet.

since may 23rd here is what has happened:

  • my mom turned 60
  • my dad turned 62 (we celebrated at The Huntington Library, it was incredible and I can’t wait to go back)
  • I started drinking coffee
  • I got my blood test results back from UCLA, everything was normal
  • I graduated the Training For Life level 3 class at my church (I am very proud of myself for that,please read the rest of this post before clicking here, this is a link to a paper I wrote for that class, It is something that was very profound and totally wrecked me into truly trusting God in EVERYTHING)
  • I have been getting stronger mentally, spiritually, and physically
  • I am supposed to have the capsule endoscopy re-done to see if the abnormalities that were present before are still there, and if they are I will have biopsies taken.
  • depending on the results of that test, I may or may not have the abdominal angiogram done.
  • I may have to have a manometry test done (two weeks ago my throat swelled up and basically shut, it felt like a ridiculously sore throat and I couldn’t swallow water without severe pain, I did not go tot the ER because it had happened before and I knew it would go away eventually so I just slept it off)
  • I started baking gluten free desserts
  • I started eating normal food and just dealing with the pain (which hasn’t been so bad lately)
  • I started cooking whole healthy meals that are easily digestible
  • I have been working a lot
  • I have been incredibly blessed

So, with that being said, here is the big news

I AM MOVING

WP8

I realize this looks like a photo you might find on google, but it is in fact the house I am moving to. Here are the answers to the questions you probably have

  1. where? Coeur D Alene Idaho
  2. why? that is where my mom and matt have chosen to retire and I have nothing keeping me in California so when they asked what I wanted to do, I said why not go
  3. when? July 28th ish
  4. what about your current health situation? We are praying that we get it figured out before then, and if not Im not worried because I might not know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future and I would seriously be wasting time if I worried.
  5. what are you going to do there? Work? School? I have some ideas but nothing is set yet. Again, Im not worried.

If you have other questions feel free to ask. preferably not in person unless you are ok with short answers and no explanation. Im not really in to talking to just anyone about it.

well, I am off to bake and eat and stuff so Ill see y’all soon. or not.

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One Hour of Silence

For my Training For Life Level 3 class I was required to spend one hour in Gods presence and just listen to what he had to say, and let me tell you, He spoke to me in a way I have never felt before.

This is the result of that:

I found the one hour of silence very difficult to do because of my current schedule, I am getting ready to move out of state and have little to no down time between work, church, and packing. I decided to to it while at work bathing dogs where I am generally alone and doing something I love for eight hours. God really showed me how to be present when I would find myself getting frustrated over small things, I would get the feeling of Him saying, “why are you getting angry so fast at little things?” And I would have to step back to see that the small thing that made me lose my mind for was something I have felt with before. So being fully present to me, is not forgetting to be in the moment, and be fully aware of what you are feeling, and taking a step back to see the bigger picture. While I was bathing a dog, rather getting ready to do a dogs nail trim, God was speaking me to me through this current situation. (It was as if He shouted “ITS TIME TO LISTEN TO ME!”) This dog was a playful loving creature, going about her usual business of play bowing at other dogs and running away barking, in the yard around the other dogs. But everything changed when I called her name to come to me in the run, she got a little anxious but still came, I got her into the groom room, a quiet room, She was petrified. She wouldn’t listen to any command I told her, she just cried out in fear and anxiety. And just like that , the Lord told me, “thats you.” I have been through a lot of health issues lately and I cry out to god about how scared I am and ignore all that He has to say. In the exact same way this poor pup was crying and not listening to me. I have cried out so loud ¬†that I am not able to focus on hearing Gods voice, or anything He is saying. When I realized this, I simply sat with the dog and talked to her, petting her gently to calm her. her cried got quieter and she started to respond to me. “come here” I said to her, motioning to my right, she followed my hand and sat down. If I have learned anything from this, it is that I need to stop shouting and crying for fear of the unknown and to sit down and hear Gods voice, to be still, and to feel His touch, and to simply trust that this will eventually end. Nothing is going to be as bad as I think. I think the busyness of this culture is negatively affecting our relationships with God because we make time for what we deem important. Forgetting that God is of utmost importance. We don’t prioritize the right things and we unfortunately make time for the wrong, or unnecessary things. We have to start focusing on the most important ¬†relationship, that is of course our relationship with God. When the nail trim was over I walked her back out to the run and into the yard and she became the lively pup she was before. I have faith that God will bring me out of my current mess and I will return to being the lively person I used to be.

 

Friends I felt to led to share this with you as a reminder that God will meet us where we are, we don’t have to change or do anything different for God to love us, He already does no matter what you think. You don’t have to get your life together before coming to Jesus, in fact you can’t get your life together without Him. Just fully surrender to Him where you are and what your life start to change.